Because it catches you totally off guard there are times you get so pissed off you don’t know what to do.  Then once you’ve had the chance to really think about things you find yourself LOL just like I am right now.  The idea for this post came to me while driving home and hearing the Bud Light Real Men Of Genius Commercial so here is Ms. Lynn’s version.

Mr. I Wanna Lick You All Over:  You make me want to run because as I am walking through the parking lot you slow down, roll your window down, and stick your tongue out at me.  As you try to keep up with me your steadily telling me how you just want to lick me all over, does your ability to make your tongue move like a worm, make you think that I will give you my number? or perhaps you think I am going to  just jump in your car and hop on your face.

Mr. Producer: I understand more than anyone you that you may meet that you have talent but just haven’t had that chance yet to put it out there.  The problem with  you Mr. Producer is that you want my funding to help you!!!  How in the world after only knowing you for 2 days do you think I am going to hand you over $700 for studio time I know you are about to blow up baby and need a good women by your side.  But you will have to do it without Ms. Lynn’s funding Good Luck!!!!!

Mr. Dick Picture Sender:  Nothing can stop you from sending a dick pic. to me especially once you find out about what I do.  It may be 2 minutes after I tell you or 2 days later I am going to get a dick pic.  I won’t lie I don’t mind dick pic. what I do mind is when you Photoshop it and don’t know how to use the tools correctly.  Don’t you think I can see how you’ve stretched it, how you’ve added on a different part’s than your own ( you have really got to learn how to use that blend tool), all the variation in it’s color, and let’s not forget that your other hand doesn’t match the one that’s holding it.

Last but not least Mr. Quicker Feeler Upper: You are the guy that as I finish reaching to pick something off the shelf in the store you are standing so close behind me as I step back I bump into your rod.  I love how you say oh oh oh watch it as you grab me by waist and try to grind on my ass.  Let’s not forget how you think you are so slick as you see me standing there looking and you reach behind or in front of me so close to grab something off the shelf you bump my ass or tit’s. No one would catch onto you if you didn’t go mmmm or try to let your hand linger there.

Ok Gang I am out for now but will be back soon!!!!!

As you know by now it hasn’t been long since I returned to the dating scene after being with one man for 10 yrs. I thought it would be difficult especially since I have an alternative style of work.  I haven’t had but a couple of guys not being understanding about it however in past month or so I have had 3 off the wall dates.  Now you know I like variety and feel free to let me know if I am being to hard on the guys or not.

1.) Rick 6ft. 1, med. built white guy, he had some pretty eyes, and  wore glasses I wanted to see what was going on behind them he just had this look in his eye’s.  Rick rents a room in a 4 bedroom house I am understanding of that especially in these hard economic times.  I had previously meet all of his roommates  when we hung out one night, through constant communication, and going out on a few dates we decided to take it to the next level.  So it’s Mon. night I finished up my shift at 1 and he promptly picked me up now most men I know even if they are just coming to pick you up they throw on some descent but not him.  We stopped at the store to pick up some brew and never was I so embrassed when I saw in the light what he had on some sweat pants that where faded black, tight at the ankle,   had pills all over them I just wanted to pick them off, and to top it off a black tee-shirt with a hole under the arm pit big enough to fit a grapefruit through it  I quickly gave him the few items I picked up and got back in the car.

Finally we are at the house he had his room set up really nice only thing about it was that his bathroom was down the hall.  No sooner than I had taken the first sip of beer Rick is all over me like white on rice , I gave him some sugar, and told him to slow down I was there all night.  Now once  you are into your 3rd beer it’s time to hit the restroom, I walk into this bathroom, and it was the nastiest thing I had ever seen in my life.  I have been to truck stop restrooms that were cleaner the tube had a green ring, the sink area was descent, but once you got to the commode area you were sick to your stomach.  I didn’t know what to do I thought to myself should I just hunt for another bathroom, go outside, or perhaps there is some cleaner in here.  Luckily for me there was along with some gloves and a big sponge I am standing there doing the bathroom dance while cleaning the commode area.  Pissed and disgusted I head back down the hall to his room the door is open but the TV is off he says “Why were you making so much noise in there?” in a harsh tone “because I had to clean your nasty ass bathroom!” while replying  I flicked on the light switch then screamed and started scratching to feel for the light switch to turn it back off.  Because there sat on the edge of the bed Rick pasty white, butt naked,  and with a little red dick the size of an outdoor Xmas bulb  his roommates were already laughing they laughed even harder when I said “What is going on with your dick?”  “Shut the door you are embrassing me I have something I wanna tell you” he yells.  I said can you cover up first and let me turn the light on? afterwards I sat on the bed beside him and he told me he couldn’t get it up that’s what he was doing while I was in the bathroom.  I told him that’s alright it happens from time to time then kissed him on the forehead happy as hell that he couldn’t from the looks of it I didn’t want it.  I actually slept in my pj’s sometime the next morning I felt the bed just wiggling, I knew he was over there jerkin, next thing I know he’s sliding up behind me rubbing his dick all on my ass, and as much as I like it in the morning I played dead asleep.  Off he went to his nice clean bathroom to finish needless to say we still chit chat but we both know it’s just not happening.

2.) Mark here I go with the glasses again lol he is 5′11 built like a football player seemed really cool and I had known him since I used to work in the casino we just never went there but we sure knew we wanted to.  We’re chatting one night and he mentioned how it was perfect snuggling weather I felt comfortable enough to tell him to come on over.  I am used to when a guy comes over for the night he has a man bag even if it’s nothing more than 2 plastic grocery bags but not Mark he has a basket not a laundry basket a little red riding hood type basket.  I laughed my ass off he goes “what?” as he walking in swinging that damn basket.  Later on in the evening we are on the bed being hospitable as I am I let him have control of the remote now I admit I like the discovery channel so there was no problem when he turned to it.  The problem came in when he was trying to put the moves on me while we are watchin as they are about to do a lamb scarfice. I am dead serious the man grabs up the lamb by its back legs, the women are dancing around chanting, he is about to come across the lambs neck with a machete, and Mark is nibbling on my neck.  WTF !!!! I had to scream at him to turn it off after I composed myself we got into the mix and he whispers to me he wants to take it from the back.  I don’t know about you when I am in that position I like to look back there’s just something about watching the expression on the man’s face and the way his body is moving that turns me on.  Well when I looked back this time I burst out laughing there is Mark going at it with his glasses on, eyes wide open, and hair swinging into his face.  Then he starts pumping faster and faster saying what  you laugh at? what you laughing at? keep in mind the walls in some Vegas apts. are thin so when I said “I am laughing at you take those damn glasses off what the hell do you need to see I can guide it in?” I think the guy next door might of heard me he started laughing.   That ruffled Mark feather’s for a little bit but it didn’t take long for us to get back in the mix.

3.) Anthony a fine piece of chocooooolate mmmmmmm that I meet at the grocery store a few weeks ago.  Last night he comes over and we chill out while I work the phones I was only logging in for a couple of hrs., he asks if he can kick off his shoes, and that was no problem with me.  Little did I imagine that he was going to take off his socks to I am sitting over at my desk watching him as he pulls them off his feet were so ashy and so husky that it flew into the air like dust particles on to my coffee table.  Anthony didn’t even seem to care he is just rubbing his feet together stuff is just falling off and it sounded like 2 pieces of sand paper rubbing togther.  All plans of us getting it on last night completely went out my head because all I could imagine was all that husk in my bed feeling like cookie crumbs on top of the fact his toes looked like they could Freddy Krueger my sheets.

If you love cumming several times a day camming is the job for you however there are some sessions that are hotter then others and then those request you get that are outrageous for words sometimes.

A guest comes into my chat and asked if I had any scarves and bandanna’s if so will I gather them up well that was no problem.  Bing we go into private I do a sexy scarf dance for him, the part that really turned me on is when he had me put the bandanna over my pussy, and rub over my clit with the vibrator.  The feel of the fabric rubbing over my clit combined with the sensation from the vibrator got my pussy throbbing.  I was so ready for the next guest because he didn’t want me to put the vibrator inside me so there I sat in free chat waiting on my next guest pussy just twitching.

Wednesday night my last guest was from the UK he came in we chatted for bit once in pvt. session he I am starting to do my thing when he tells he has something for me mmmmmmmmm he did have something for me a nice big dick, hot body, and cute to boot.  He knew just how to talk to me and amazed at how flexible I was because that was on of those sessions that called for double penetration.

Now it wasn’t so crazy that a guy asked me if I had some full back panties to put on for him.  What was crazy as that while I was modeling them for him he asked me if I had a chainsaw or an electric carving knife because he would like to see me cut them off myself with one of those.  I stopped and looked dead in the camera and asked him Why? do you want me to hurt myself his reply was if I was real skilled I wouldn’t. I kindly told him I had neither on of those needless to say the show was over after that.

Next up Mr. Pee Pee soon as we went to private he wanted me to put the cam under my pussy and pee down on it.  For one thing I don’t pee or poo in my shows and two I don’t want to have to  short out my cam lol he begged me but it just wasn’t going to happen.

On Thursday’s I work the phones from 10pm-3am there’s a regular who calls me every other week, who I’ve done a custom pic. set for, our conversations run from 15 to 30 min. , and he is usually rings me up a little after 2am.  This week when he calls we are catching up on everyday life before we get deep into things because we had gotten thrown a little of schedule during the holidays.   We are at the point in our conversation were he is telling me how he would have his tongue buried deep inside my pussy if he was laying beside  me at the time.  Next thing I hear is a voice come over the phone that says if you wanna eat this bitch’s pussy so bad then go be with her, the other phone slams down, and he tells me he will call me later.  I am over here ROFL  LMAO because in the year or so that I have been doing phone sex I had never run into that.  I’ve had couples that got on the phone to get off together or who wanted me to listen to them getting off but never a women who thought I was their guy’s lover.  Perhaps they were one of those violatile couples  you know the one’s who fuck  better after they had a fight.  Just as I about to log off for the night the phone rings it him calling me from his car  I asked if everything was alright he just said yeah baby let’s get back to were we where and on we went.

Now Sunday arrives usually they are pretty quite sissy’s, humiliation, bondage, and quickies.  My partner in crime calls me to ask if I will do a 2 girl call with one her girls sure no problem because I know the caller and thought it was cute he wanted some cream to go with his coffee this time.  I wasn’t quite sure to expect because she was moving so quickly that she did not give me any clue to what kind of style this girl had and I know that this guy’s fantasy’s are very dark.  As a matter of fact he takes a lot of his fantasy’s from episodes of Crimminal Minds which I am a huge fan of the thrill of a call with him is seeing just how much more of a sadistic twist he can bring to the story.   We start the call he wanted to do an age play rape fantasy with some racial humiliation thrown in that was right up my alley but from the sound of the girl’s voice I could tell she was a thrown for a loop.  We are trying to get into the scene he has me handcuffed, cutting my clothes of while tracing my skin with the edge of the knife, and he was trying to get off on the fear of having her watch this.  But!!!! not with  this girl she was one bad actress I can not even put into words how horrible she with her extremely high pitched voice, overreacting to him cramming his cock in her mouth, her truly bad sound effects of her whipping me, and if she would have said OMG one more time I was going to go through the phone.  I could tell he was getting truly frustrated with her because she kept on asking him to repeat things and believe me this guy has the perfect movie serial killer voice you don’t need him to repeat a thing.  A call that normally would have lasted 40 min. ended up only going 12 min. grrrrr I love taken calls for my buddy but I honestly hope she never teams me with  this girl again or at least not with this caller.

Last Wens. night after I was done with camming I headed over to Mr. Anal-phobia’s who had friends in town for the holidays  to play some Texas Hold’ Em there were 8 of us there coupled off.  We had a really good game I won 4 nice pots before we knew it was 2 in the morning the we had a few drinks running through us when one of the ladies suggested we head to a strip club.  Well you know me all game for that I was on the phone calling us a cab quicker than you can say your name the whole time we are heading o there I was secretly hoping to myself that these weren’t the type of ladies who would get in a strip club and show their asses.  You know the one’s  I am talking about they start  yelling, trying to give guys lap dances, or they are willing to go with their guy but start cursing him out for looking at the women.

Upon arriving we got an area that was close to the stage, ordered drinks, all the guys seemed so relaxed except Mr. Anal-phobia who I will be calling Jeff from here on.  These ladies were so cool when they saw a girl doing a good dance they would get out a $5 and quietly go over to the stage to drop it down I took a deep sigh of relief because you know there is nothing more embarrassing than getting thrown out of a place.  The ladies and I gathered together picked out 4 girls to come over to give the guys lap dances I picked out a nice shapely brunette she had some nice tits and ass going on.  I loved the way this girl walked when she moved her tits n ass were bouncing and behaving, warm brown eyes, when she came over to me at first she thought I wanted  a dance, but I directed her to Jeff.  Now gang you would the girl had the plague as jumpy as this man got, I am dead serious he started stuttering talking about he didn’t want a dance, Why? you know I asked with attitude, “Are you afraid your dick might get hard?” , you have to be kidding me if you think the girls aren’t used to it,  and then everyone else started to chime in.  Poor girl is trying to relax him by first sitting and chatting with us after 3 mins. of soothing him she finally began to work him over Jeff was sweating, eyes all glazed over, and tensed up.  Most un-erotic thing I have seen from a man in a long time thank goodness she started in the middle of the song so I didn’t have to suffer long watching this debacle.  Shit I had to tell him to tip damn girl.

Never one to be shy I told I pulled out some money and told him to watch how one is really suppose to enjoy a lap dance.  Trust me I enjoyed her gyrating all over me while me and her ended up having a convo. about camming during her dance but she never wavered from giving me a good dance.  I inspired the other ladies in the group to get one all the men were worked up in the group when here comes Jeff with this off the wall question “Are you bi?”  WTF we are in strip club what the hell did you expect me to do just sit here? and if I am why do you care?  I shut him down when I fired back on him even his friends were a little taken back with his questions.  After that we only stayed another hr. with him barely saying anything he had to know he had ruined any chance of him getting any pussy that night and from the way I feel about him right now he won’t be seeing it again.

What person do you know turns down a lap dance when someone else is paying for it? or any man that gets stressed out when someone he is seeing gets a lap dance from a hot chick?

I have to say I was truly honored when Dr. Dick contacted me about interviewing me for is Sex Advice with an Edge-Podcast.  At first I was nervous but then I realized that all I had to do was be myself I calmed myself down.  Before getting into camming and phone sex I had always sp0ken openly about sex to the point my friends would come and ask for advice.  As a matter of fact I feel if more people discussed it openly their relationships may turn out far better.  Not everyone share’s my opinion on that but I have to be honest and say that based on the last relationship I had plus what I have seen from my friends sex is the number one cause for issues.  So guys I want you to come check me out feel free to leave comments in either place you can also ask questions to Dr. Dick or you can always ask me I assure you we  keep all things confidential.

Don’t Be Shy Gang

I just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  As you know each year brings new adventures, new challenge’s, a sense of excitement, and of course a list of resolutions.  So here is my list and I would really like if you shared some of yours with me.

• Overhaul the site
• Blog more
• Cam more
• Continue to eat healthy so I can get the rest of the pounds off
• Start a regular exercise program
• Learn Pole Dancing
• Get with Gerald so I can take hella content
• Make my first porn
• Increase my presence in the adult community
• Finish off my degree and start a new one
• Get a new place I would really like a townhouse or house
• Get a Camaro or Mustang no not a brand new one lol

Now come on guys share yours with me.